How Isolation Impacted My Mental Health
Welcome back to Sephora’s Counter after all this time...
I went on a little hiatus (Okay, it was a very long one) Due to quarantine because I became super overwhelmed with what is going on in the world.
I had so many plans for myself this year, and then everything went in the complete opposite direction. This was finally going to be MY year. I set out for the last year of my 20s to be a life-changing one. I planned to become a full-fledged girl boss, and I, with tunnel vision, dove into entrepreneur mode full-time. I thought this through, long and hard. I prayed on it, and I took that leap of faith. I made sacrifices; I invested a lot of time, money, and effort for the world to stop me at a standstill. I wasn’t the only person that this impacted. However, I still felt like a failure. The confidence I gained quickly diminished, turning into fear due to the unknown nature of a very real but unseen virus. Following my dreams got put on the back burner yet again due to the world's current climate.
I thought of this quote my grandmother would say since I was a child, “We plan, God, laughs,” I never really understood it at the time, but this proverb expresses a truth that we can all relate to at some point. At any stage of our lives, each of us makes plans, sacrifices, taking leaps of faith to set out on a journey of what direction we want our lives to head in. We have this vision and plan of what life will be like when we get to our desired destination, but things may not always go as we planned or work out in the time-frame we have given to ourselves.
How I felt weighed very heavily on my spirit, and other unexpected things started to unfold. I was furloughed from work.
My 9-5 provided the means to fund my business, and it was no longer. This quickly caused anxiety, and not far behind, depression was creeping back in.
Dealing with depression, then not having access to the help I needed was very difficult for me because it prevented me from utilizing resources that help me get through these depressive episodes. I decided to put things on hold because I felt neither driven nor inspired, and I felt guilty for it.
I thought a lot about life during my hiatus, and I wasn’t very kind to myself during the process.
Continuously I was down on myself due to the lack of productivity I experienced. Because of it, I pushed back many of the things I planned to launch. I thought that being home would’ve driven me even more, but I never experienced that spark of inspiration that others did. Most days, I woke up feeling uninspired, solemn, sad, and in a dark space. My mind went idle, and it wandered negatively. I felt like I had repeatedly been put through the same cycle. I was very disappointed in who I was yet again.
Since I was uninspired, it led me to neglect myself in many ways. Even though I wrote a lot, I didn’t feel like it came from an authentic space, and my mission was always for this website to be an authentic space and a valuable resource. I felt like I couldn’t provide the resources for it to be what I built it for in that space I was in. How can I be encouraging others when I can barely encourage myself? I wanted to have a post that you all can relate to, one that could help you navigate through uncertain times from a person experiencing ups and downs like each of you were.
This might be a long shot, and it may feel like we’re in a black hole, but please trust and believe me when I say Nothing in this life is permanent, and that’s the most beautiful and scariest part of our physical experience. This period will not last forever; it will pass, even though we may not know when.
This year has been both eye-opening and life-changing. It forced me to do the critical work on myself and allow the love I deserved into my life without guilt. It all started with me providing the love I desired to myself and in other ways like the following:
I am still learning to be more kind to myself; the same kindness I offer others is the kindness I now extend to myself.
I am learning to accept my emotions as they are; I do that by allowing them to stay for as long as they are needed to, not longer.
I focused my energy on healing the broken parts of myself while loving myself for who I am in every state. It isn't easy when you feel like you should be in a different space than the space you are currently in, but this is needed for you to get to your intended destination.
I allowed the love I desired and prayed for from another in. It came in the most unexpected way possible. Because I have been completely myself and honest about my wants and needs, I have been in the healthiest relationship that I have ever been in. All while continuously transforming into the woman I am intended to be. In this love, I am not sacrificing my wellbeing for another person; my person loves me for exactly who I am, and through all stages of my being.
I’m also learning that I do myself a disservice by only waiting for an ideal moment to provide and share resources. If you wait for “the right time,” you’ll miss opportunities. It is an unrealistic way of thinking and living. Some of the most valuable information comes from the most unexpected situations, like this current pandemic.
The vital thing to do is to remain grounded during tough times. With all that's going on in the world during this difficult time, one thing is certain... We have to find our balance in this life.
I know many of us deal with loneliness, isolation, and depression that negatively impact our emotions and mental state. Even if you haven’t been driven to start a business, side-hustle, or other things, it is still imperative for you to work on yourself in the process. And HONESTLY, that’s the most important work that needs to be done, and that’s the work that truly matters. Through that work, you learn to build a solid and stable foundation, so you can thrive going forward in life. I want to leave you with this: Nothing good comes from comparing yourself to the next person. Comparison is the thief of JOY. Their successes are not an absence of what will be yours or what is intended for you. Time is the most valuable asset we possess, and it is through time in which we learn what is needed of us through each of our seasons in this life.
What I’ve learned this year is that trying to navigate from inauthentic space is a recipe for disaster. What is forced will never thrive, and as much as you avoid doing the necessary work on yourself, God will find a way to force you to take a look in that mirror and make the required changes in your life.
I hope this post has provided you with the insight you need and deserve. I hope you learn to be kind to yourself during your process, especially navigating through the unknown, and I really wish you love, happiness, and prosperity, especially during this holiday season.
And like always, I leave you with LOVE and open arms, and if you are feeling abandoned, unworthy or helpless, please do not ever hesitate to reach out to me! I will help with every ounce of my being!
Please comment below or send a message my way if you are connected with this post!
"Here's to having the inner reflect on the outer and glowing from the inside out… infinitely."
DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional in the topics that I will discuss on this site. This is my advice through trial, error, research, consultations, and personal experience. Always consult with a professional if you have any doubts or second thoughts about any information given.